I WANT AN IPHONE
(To the tune of “I Did It My Way”)
New lyrics by David Pogue

And now, the end is near,
I’m sick to death of this old cellphone.
Bad sound, the signal’s weak, the software stinks—
A “Made in Hell” phone!

I’ve heard there’s something new,
A million times more rad than my phone,
I too, will join the cult,
I want an iPhone.

Concerns, I have a few;
It’s got some flaws, we may just face it,
No keys, no memory card,
The battery’s sealed—you can’t replace it.

But God, this thing is sweet,
A multitouch iPod Wi-Fi phone,
You had me from “hello,”
I want an iPhone.

I want to touch that precious screen,
I want to rub the smudges clean,
I want my friends to look and drool,
I want to say, “Look, now I’m cool!”
I stood in line, and I’ll get mine:
I’ll get an iPhone!

For what is a man, what has he got?
With no iPhone, then he’s got squat.
It’s all the things a phone could be—
So what if it’s AT&T?
I took a stand, paid half a grand…
And got an iPhone!